Obviously I needed to be clearer and insisted total transparency. How do I go back and add that part?
"I feel that your continued contact with OM is disrespectful of me, and of our marriage. If you are going to be with me and live in our home, you need to cut off all contact with him; I insist on total transparency so that I can confirm that you have done so.
If you do not break off contact with him, then you will pack your things and move out, and I will start filing for divorce."
Give her five minutes to consider her options, then help her start packing.
BINGO.
Look, CC, this is YOUR boundary, not HERS. Only YOU can know what your own internal "deadline" is. What's best for you and your son. You don't sit around and wait for her to decide; you TELL YOURSELF how long you think you can wait, and which boundary(s) are dealbreakers, and which behaviors are mere annoyances, and then you deal with the consequences.
