Coping with Bi-Polar WAW

[TrentC]

I told her that I would be unable to be married to someone who chose a "friend" over her husband, but I didn't know how to follow up with what the consequences would be if she didn't accept my boundary.

Which leads to...

She never responded to that boundary, and still hasn't said anything about it.

Why should she respect your boundary? There were no consequences.

Obviously I needed to be clearer and insisted total transparency. How do I go back and add that part?

"I feel that your continued contact with OM is disrespectful of me, and of our marriage. If you are going to be with me and live in our home, you need to cut off all contact with him; I insist on total transparency so that I can confirm that you have done so.

If you do not break off contact with him, then you will pack your things and move out, and I will start filing for divorce."

Give her five minutes to consider her options, then help her start packing.