Oh Donna, I don't really believe that being post-D "friends" is good for very many people at all.
Nothing at all wrong with sticking to business. Nothing at all wrong with saying, "Gee, that is thoughtful. But no thanks, I'm not comfortable with that."
It is NORMAL. What is ABNORMAL is being "friends" with people who treated you the way XH and his GF treated you. No need to push there. Gaining some compassion and understanding WILL help YOU. But that doesn't mean either should or will lead to friendship.
But DO work on your boundaries. If you want to limit contact, fine. But be clear and straightforward about it. "XH, let's just stick to a civil business associates R for now. I'm not interested in friendship at this point." Don't go back to trying to extract whatever it is you want from him from the past. Whatever path you choose moving forward, just remember: YOUR CHOICE.
