WAW turning around? What now?

[LiveToLearn]

My wife and I have been married for 12 years. She had struggled with depression in the past and this April decided that she wanted a new life. We have a 4 year old daughter and we were in the middle of an adoption for a 1yo daughter and life was good in my eyes. We spent lots of time together and talked a lot.

She left to try a relationship with an old BF and was planning on moving to another state. They had some conversations on line and she believed that he was her soul mate.

I mostly have given her space. I believe deep down she loves me but the responsibilities of life and the normal routine combined with a new romance and the choice for her seemed clear.

Her relationship with the other man did not work out, and she moved directly into another relationship, that one was not working out either so she moved into another dating situation.

Many of the things she has done are very MLC. I love her and believe I know her soul and that she is a wonderful person, the hard part is nobody, not even her, knows where this is going to go.

She called me about a month ago and asked if she could wear her wedding rings and try again. I said that I would be willing to do that. She wanted to go to counseling and try to make it work. She told me how messed up her life was and how she had no idea what reality is. She loved me and missed me and that I am still her best friend.

Two days went by and she said “I will just cheat on you again.” I know this is because the OM came back into the picture for a little bit. So I know she is not really over him. She knows she should be, but is not. I again gave her space and time and was just polite.

The other night I told her that I was not going to keep doing favors for her if she is unwilling to do any for me. I said friendship is a two way boat. She said she was sorry and that has started a new “connection” phase.

So the last week she has started texting more and has asked me and the girls out to dinner. She cried when she said goodbye to my daughter that I am adopting. She has been open and honest about trying to get her life straight and has gone out of her way to bring me stuff when I was sick.

She is back on her medication and is seeing a counselor. Our divorce has had all the paper work filled out and she has signed the papers. I am going to the last parenting class tomorrow and then the judge will make everything final.

I think that she misses romance and the butterfly feelings of a new love. She tells me all the time now she feels like an 18yo in a 31yo body. She is gorgeous and has no problem getting attention from guys. She thrives on the attention and is now trying to decide what her life should look like. Every time we talk or see each other I know she is hoping to feel the butterfly’s so she can come back, but when they are not there she just gets confused.

I know how to be romantic; I know I could get those feelings in her again. But would that really work? Would it be a short term thing? The confidence and happiness needs to come from her. So that is where I am confused. I know she loves me she just is not sure who she is. When she left she just wanted a completely new life of bars, parties and boys.

What do I do at this point? Do I start making an effort to ask her out? Do I start with a romance faze?

Thanks!