I think then I may have some redeeming to do...I ended up with a flat tire this morning on my first day of work! I vented to my Ex through text message that it was flat (he was with me when we just recently got 4 new tires put on), when I heard back from him through text, I misread it and thought what he meant was that he came to my house to get me but was too late, what he was really saying is I must have been late to work..?? I don't know, sometimes texting isn't as clear as one thinks. Anyway, I got a better job offer at a different facillity today and I'm only a candidate thus far, but it looks good. When we were talking on the phone about my tires, we got into the job offer talk and he was telling me how I can finally start saving money, ect... (It kind of makes me feel bad when he talks about my life with me, and references parts my life without him in it). I told him I wasn't going to get my hopes up until I actually get the job. He replied that it's hard not to get one's hopes up, and I replied, I can't get my hopes up about many things in my life anymore. I know...you know what's coming next..... and you're right. What we've been doing together came up and I told him I really enjoy spending time with him and like his company, we have fun together and respect each other, but the more we hang out together the more attached I'm becoming and since he has made it clear that he's not interested in me more than a friend, that I don't know if I can continue on this way without some inclining of a possibility of something more whenever. That it hurts me to hang out with him because I feel like I get more emotionally attached, and if he expects me to move on, I won't be able to. (He suggested I shouldn't wait for him) He replied that he stated where he stood and re-iterated that he has absolutely no romantic feelings for me and doesn't know if he ever will. He thinks that doing things with our s, is what's best for him and that's all he's been trying to do. He said it's good for our s to see his parents get along. Ok, but we can get along and not do all this other stuff together can't we? I pretty much tried not to cry, but did a little when I decided, right then, and responded to him that I thought I would be able to detach and just be his friend, but I found out I can't because I'm developing more feelings for him and thought it best to cancel the plans we have together. So, I guess I've pushed him away?...Its painful this way too..but my gut is telling me that the only way he might figure out his feelings is through space. His actions say one thing to me and his verbal responses say something else, leaving me very conflicted. Even if he were to say, that he enjoys time with me and wants to hang out like this to see where it leads for us, rather than that he's doing this for our s's sake, because it's good for him, then I could continue. Do you think I totally messed this up?
