Question

[awest1217]

Good night! I did a no, no, but it turned out well. I am still feeling really bad, and at about 4:45 S put his hands down his poopy diaper and it was a mess. I put him in the bath and just felt the daunting feeling that this was going to be a bad night for S and I. I still am not feeling well, S was fussy, so overall with me not having the strength to deal with fussiness because I was fussy myself, I knew I needed help. H said he wanted to help so I text him and asked if he could come over for a few hours to help take care of S so I could relax because I have to be at work tomorrow. I figured he would say he was busy, but he right away said he would be here, asked what I needed to feel better, and what I wanted for dinner.

He got here and right away went to making dinner with making sure to ask S to help the whole time. It was great! I got to sit on the couch and relax. Then after eating he got out Candyland and we played that together with S, and S played really well. We tried a few other games and it was great, fun and relaxing. Then H helped me put S to bed, and because H was there, S actually fell asleep without me in the room. Yes, S is in my bed, but I got to watch SYTYCD and relax for the first time in weeks, which was very strengthening. H also checked my throat and said I have tonsilitis (he got it a lot as a kid). He told me what I should do to feel better and I said I would do it. He also said call again if I need anything or get worse.

Not too long after H left this is the text conversation we had.

H - Thank you again for letting me help tonight. i hope you are continuing to see changes in me that you like. sweet dreams.

me - I love you the way you are, but yes I am seeing changes. You helped a lot tonight. without you it would have been stressful for me fighting with S to eat and trying to entertain him while trying to relax. thank you and thank you for the diagnosis and how to fix it. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Good night!

H- tonight meant a lot to me because not only did i get to play with S and spend time together with you, I also felt like you respected me as an intelligent individual, and didn't claim to have all of the answers. thank you for that. good night, sleep well.

me - thank you for really focusing on us and noticing my changes. night

This was great! I think for the first time in months we saw each other's changes and respected on another. It was great for me to show how if he comes home I want to be able to rely on him and just let go to him to let him be my husband and not control everything. It was also nice to see that he is willing and able to be that person to take care of me and S.

I know that we say to stick to certain steps, but I think I am past LRT and really need to just go with what I feel is right in my heart as I face this unknown territory. I don't want to get overly excited because once again OW could be living with H, especially with some things he said tonight makes me wonder, but at the same time he is trying so just appreciating the steps.

I am still not feeling well, but H gave S some allergy medicine so S is out for the count. Now we can both sleep well tonight.