Looks like I might soon be LBS...newcomer here

[Gnosis]

He walked us to my car afterwards and lingered a bit. I just talked about the boys and once I got them into the car, said "OK, see you at home" and walked away.

Good job.

I think it is possible that my dark behavior over the last couple of weeks and then my peck on our anniversary (Saturday) had an impact because he came to bed on Sunday night too, the first time in 3+ weeks.

Keep doing what works. Don't get your hopes up. He knows you've been slipping away from him so he needs to pull you back in.

As for the bed thing... "Uh uh sunshine. You don't belong here. You haven't done anything to deserve that kind of reward!" I know he refuses to listen and invites himself in whenever he feels like it. BIM, stick to your boundaries and enforce them. If you don't you're enabling him to walk over you again. Result: Back into your never ending (7 year long) cycle. As a last resort, go to bed before him and lock the door behind you.

Then on Monday morning, he commented that his dream had something to do with "if he kissed me and I had kissed someone else, he was sharing me OR that I was exposing him to other people.

See? Not even two days go past and he's back to his old torture tricks.

I did not bite on his attempts to pull me into an R discussion. I just said that he needs to make whatever decisions are best for him. This is a 180 for me because I usually get upset and go back to defending myself

Fantastic job! Keep it up!

Guess what? Back to bed he came last night.

Keep doing what works and change what doesn't.

It won't work and I know that now. Only took me 7 years!

Don't beat yourself up. You're doing great now.

This is far from being busted and far from reconciliation, but I am so much better than I've been in a long while. And I'll take it!!!!

Good for you. Just keep your guard up and proceed cautiously. For speedier results start enforcing your boundaries. He still has a LOT of resentment. Don't fall back into bad habits. i.e. Things get a little better for a while and then regress again.

Ya know what? When you are consumed with your M and your failures in the R, you lose sight of yourself. At least I did.

I don't think there is anyone out there who can claim differently. It's a learning curve. Your first step was to join this board.

Trying to work past the pain to accept what is and what will be caused me to realize that I better get back to liking myself.

Yes! The only person who can make you happy is yourself. No one (incl. your children) but yourself defines your happiness.

A few days ago, I rededicated myself to God.

Congratulations!

To me, that means taking care of my health and well-being and listening. It has made a world of difference! I am a mother of 2 healthy, wonderful, beautiful boys. I have a nice, safe home and a secure job that will provide for us in the event that I have to take care of them on my own. Now, I am working on me. I have neglected myself for far too long. I've got a ways to go, but I am at peace.

I'm happy for you BIM. Keep doing what is working. You're not at the right place for what I had in mind yesterday so I'll hold off on that. Please do go through with seeing another attorney and finding out your rights. It doesn't hurt to know them. Also keep us updated. I'll continue watching your thread.