So sorry to hear what he did....I myself have been here for a while......I dont know what I will do when that time comes....He still hasn't filed for divorce.....and SHE supports them he still has no job.....we never speak which is better for me but occasionally he responds when I text him to make sure he is doing ok....he never justs writes to me to let me know he if fine....I have faith, but sometimes I read things like your situation and I get discouraged..... I have been reading your posts and you sound still like you hurt very much ....I am sorry, may you have everything you deserve one day......
I know the pain, my ex brought a house with the bimbo back in February of this year. They brought a house in an expensive area and remodeled it to their liking. It hurt like hell, but like everything else that has been dealt to us, we find a way to deal with it and the pain lessens. Just know that this won't make him any happier. My ex now seems jealous that I was approved for a loan for a house while he had to buy a house with the bimbo to get one. It's just another thing on their list that they do that they THINK will make them happy.
Trusting, I am sorry that you are having to deal with this. I expect that I might, too.
As far as your D, yes, your X is not too healthy, but at the same time, I think there is some truth that just about ANY relationship with a parent is better than nothing. So that is how I try to approach.
Your X has made some progress w/your kids, and he is at least present so hopefully things will improve slowly.
The house should solve the problems between OW and your X that your X communicated to you, yessir. (rolleyes)
Again, maybe they don't hit bottom. They live bottom, day to day. Nowhere to go.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
Thank you all for your support. A friend of mine at work went through this several years back. She always stresses to me how important it is to detach emotionally in order to survive. She told me today it is a conscious effort. Everytime you have thoughts about ex, stop them. Eventually it becomes habit and your feelings change. I am going to make more of an effort. It is necessary for me.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
T I'm sorry for your pain. My X moves into the house he has recently bought in two weeks. I've no idea if his new wife is on the mortgage but I guess she will be in name. She must either be on maternity leave already or about to be and i'm told she doesn't intend to go back to work. So given that he had so much blood money from me I think in reality it is probably me and XH who really own that house.
Your friend is right it does get easier to detach through habit. I think the question you need to ask yourself is IF you want to detach. The statment about not being done on the bottom of your signature suggests that maybe you don't.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
I agree with your friend Trusting.. and I am so very very sorry!!! I know those knife pains, the hurt of the heart - I am sorry. Wish we could sit down and have a margarita, or a beer or even just a soda together.. and just sit.. no words sometimes are best.
and in regards to your messed up X and his relationship with your kids.. take solice in this. My C has reminded me time adn time again that the "SAFE" place, consistancy all of it - that is us adn that is what we are showing our kids. INNER strength.. adn they do see it!! I KNOW they do.. How WE deal adn teach them and move forward does impact them. You may not hear it today - but some day you will be told (either by word or deed).
Hey - how about I come there and kick him in the prvates?? that would be so awesome~~~~
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
I'll take you up on that..... when are you coming?
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
