In shock...

[praying_in_GA]

So, I read over the texts from the day of and the days that followed the bomb. I was so very ANTI-DR!!!

The first day I was angry and said something snide. His response was "Is this you trying?" I asked him to go to counseling to which he responded "Too soon" so I proceeded to ask every day for three days!!

He went from "I've been thinking a lot since our two scares (broken condoms). I'm sad and scared" and agreeing to sleep in the guest room to "You need to stay as calm as possible and allow things to run their course to whatever end. This will take a long time." When asked if he would keep the option open for us to be together he responded with "Only time will tell. I won't mislead you."

At one point, after I agreed to and took full responsibility for my part in this whole thing, he said "I know how the past has been. You've said you will change before. I don't know that you can and don't want things to hurt longer than they have too. I've never given up on you before but I don't know."

This was followed by two days of me texting him I love you and I miss you several times a day. No wonder he went from a 'maybe' type response to a 'I've never loved you' response. He then started not responding to my texts.

SO, where do I go from here? I have stopped talking to him at all during the day unless it involves the kids. I have backed WAY off and am giving him room. Of course, I have also found out he has/had feelings for my sister and might be holding out to see if she would date him. Is it appropriate for me to ask him if they are still talking? She is mad at me for 'dragging her into my drama' and we aren't on speaking terms right now. She says her feelings are completely platonic and she has a boyfriend of over a year that she loves.

It's funny that he started doing the DRing to me before I had even read the book!!!

I went shopping tonight and bought some clothes that fit! I got a few pieces that I normally wouldn't wear (dressier things) but I really like them!!

So, oh wise members of this community. Lead me!