In shock...

[praying_in_GA]

So, I read over the texts from the day of and the days that followed the bomb. I was so very ANTI-DR!!!

The first day I was angry and said something snide. His response was "Is this you trying?" I asked him to go to counseling to which he responded "Too soon" so I proceeded to ask every day for three days!!

He went from "I've been thinking a lot since our two scares (broken condoms). I'm sad and scared" and agreeing to sleep in the guest room to "You need to stay as calm as possible and allow things to run their course to whatever end. This will take a long time." When asked if he would keep the option open for us to be together he responded with "Only time will tell. I won't mislead you."

At one point, after I agreed to and took full responsibility for my part in this whole thing, he said "I know how the past has been. You've said you will change before. I don't know that you can and don't want things to hurt longer than they have too. I've never given up on you before but I don't know."

This was followed by two days of me texting him I love you and I miss you several times a day. No wonder he went from a 'maybe' type response to a 'I've never loved you' response. He then started not responding to my texts.

SO, where do I go from here? I have stopped talking to him at all during the day unless it involves the kids. I have backed WAY off and am giving him room. Of course, I have also found out he has/had feelings for my sister and might be holding out to see if she would date him. Is it appropriate for me to ask him if they are still talking? She is mad at me for 'dragging her into my drama' and we aren't on speaking terms right now. She says her feelings are completely platonic and she has a boyfriend of over a year that she loves.

It's funny that he started doing the DRing to me before I had even read the book!!!

I went shopping tonight and bought some clothes that fit! I got a few pieces that I normally wouldn't wear (dressier things) but I really like them!!

So, oh wise members of this community. Lead me!

[Super Girl]

How many times during the day do you talk to him about the kids? Is it daily?

[praying_in_GA]

How many times during the day do you talk to him about the kids? Is it daily?

Not necessarily. I do talk to him once a day when the kids go to bed, BUT it might just be a "hello" when he calls us or when I am at work a "hey, I wanted to tell the kids goodnight". Other than that there isn't much communication between us at all.

[Super Girl]

I think you are talking to him too much. He needs to miss you.

[praying_in_GA]

I think you are talking to him too much. He needs to miss you.

Any ideas on how I cut down on it?

He sees me three times a week so he can watch the kids while I work. He gets here at 6:15pm (right when I am leaving) and he leaves at 7:30am (about 5 min after I get home). He calls every night before bedtime to tell them goodnight and I call every night I work before bedtime so I can tell them goodnight.

Should I not answer the phone when he calls...just hand it straight to our daughter? Also, would he take this as me being mad at him?

(I feel like these are stupid questions)

[Super Girl]

I pick up, say hang on, and hand the phone to a kid. When I see him, I either leave or busy myself with something out of his sight.

He left. Who cares if he's mad, right?

They're not stupid questions. You're trying to get by, just like the rest of us. It just seems to me that you're still a little too chatty with him.

[praying_in_GA]

Ok, less chat more busy. Got it.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

And for god's sakes, DON'T talk to him about your sister!

Puppy

[praying_in_GA]

And for god's sakes, DON'T talk to him about your sister!

Puppy

Ok, that was my question. I have NO idea what is going on with them right now. I am not speaking to her and H and I don't talk enough to get there.

[motherof3]

And for god's sakes, DON'T talk to him about your sister!

Puppy

Ok, that was my question. I have NO idea what is going on with them right now. I am not speaking to her and H and I don't talk enough to get there.

What Puppy said! Don't even bring up sis.