I'll chime in. The first problem is your daughter stole your credit card and charged things that you did not approve of. If that had happened to me, it would be the end of the discussion with my daughter. I would have spent the limit. Any other expenses she wants would be for her to figure out. She's an adult now. There's no excuse for what she did and at some point you have to relay that to her. What she did is not right. Maybe if she wants to spend the limit she should get a job and pay for it.
I say this only because I have two 19 year olds. One is responsible, the other is not. One has had a part-time job since he was 15 with the exception of his first college semester, when I asked him not to work and he did not. He ended up with $900+ in his account before going back to work. The other is always broke. The always broke twin can make money, but he has to work for it. He takes care of my yard, and I pay him for that, but I don't pay him if he does not work. Too bad, too sad. Life works that way. BUT, if he stole something from me, he would not be welcome in my house. And I would have to tell him that.
Last year, when my responsible twin was having to get checks from me for books and college fees, and it became a hassle, I called my credit card company and put him on my account. It made life easier. He would never charge anything that I did not approve of and he never has. Plus his credit is being built because of that. I told his twin brother last weekend that he could have the same advantage if he became responsible. At some point they are responsible for what they do and the divorce has nothing to do with it.
FL, you going to dinner is the result of your hard work and you deserve to do whatever you wish with the rewards of your hard work. Do not allow your child to dictate what you do. It's your money and you can do whatever you wish with it. You take care of them with the child support you pay every month. It sounds to me as if your D is taking over your STBX's mantra.
