I find it stunning to this day that a WAS will bomb drop and then even entertain the thought of the LBS participating in the divorce as if it was a joint decision. If there was *one* thing I could ever fully understand that would be what I would choose.
His desire to divorce, his job to get one. He (just as mine did) spent enough time pre-bomb plotting his exit while acting like I was the love of his life, well, let his plotting continue all on his own.
My H asked me for MONTHS how WE should proceed and my answer made him crazy. I simply told him I would not help him get divorced and would comply as the law required me to once he filed.
Do what you think is best but I would not suggest you agree to any sort of "controlled separation". The entire concept is idiotic and a sneaky way for the WAS to move out while looking like the "good guy" who is "trying" and just "needs space". When my H broached the controlled separation he went so far as to pull out a list of how we should handle it and he fooled me good. Months later he admitted to me it was just a way to move out. Most WAS use the ideal of a "controlled separation" to move out and/or to dedicate more time to their affair or to pursue a new person.
No hugs, no kisses ESPECIALLY after he hands you a divorce packet and bashes you for the entire demise of your marriage.
