If your H wants a divorce, HE should be the one to file. Let him do the work. It's what he wants, not you, right?

Agreeing with issues he has with you isn't the same as caving in to the dissolution of your M when you believe in it. Validate his feelings, but don't get pushed around, either.

This is my suggestion, so take it w/ a grain of salt, but I think it's time for LRT. If you haven't read DR (or DB), do it now and start detachment. If I'd had the sense to do that when my W hit me w/ the news, I'd probably be in a different situation right now.

You cannot change his mind right now, so don't try. Become unavailable and let him do the work if he wants to end the R.

~Mark

Me: 38
W: 34
Together: 9yrs
1st M: may '03
1st D: april '08
1st bomb: june '08
remarried: oct '08
2nd bomb: aug '09 --(W asked for D one week into 3 mo. trial separation which was meant to save our M)