Ok, so just had "the talk". "the talk" was him giving me a packet to file divorce, and a info packet on a "do it yourself" divorce through the mail. He just handed it to me.
I thankfully had prepared a letter, and had some things to read him. He took notes while I read. He got really angry w/ anything to do w/ "reasons not to divorce". he wrote those down. After, we discussed his issues. Then, we took a walk, and vented. It felt really good i think for both of us. Its the most honest we've ever been with each other. I just went with it.
Im still in shock. I told him that i want to do a few things before even considering the divorce. I want to both get individual counseling, and try to finish the Imago just for principle (skip over some stuff we don't like) but we both have unresolved issues about childhood due to the exercises... Then, were going to figure out what to do from there, what to do w/ the house (he doesn't want to sell right away, says we should rent for now), get our credit in better shape and do a controlled separation if that is still the way we want to go. He didn't want to give me any hope, but implied that if our financial situation got better, which is what he is soooo angry about, that this would never have happened.
He did a ton of blaming. He explained how I "played" him by not working after we married/college. I actually had to agree, i went into a funk after my dads job disappeared. He said it was all downhill from there. I felt a huge sense of relief however, right now i feel relieved.
We hugged, and kissed gently, and then he had to work. so that is it for now.. thanks a million!! I will look for your advice.
