Sorry for not being around, just getting used to new job routine and just a tad exhausted, last night was able to read but not string a typed sentance together.
Ive been through so many stages, at the beginning I so wanted to understand, be compassionate to H. Then I went through semi-detachement I couldnt care less what he was doing, but now I seem to be going through angry, every day I have to say to myself Im too close, although too close to what I ask, but close enough not to screw it all up! I just keep praying I get there soon before I blow!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
I acknowledge that I am in emotional pain: I am angry, I am hurt, I am betrayed and I am grieving. Those emotions are real, they are very valid and they are part of reality for now.
HOWEVER.... they do NOT control me and they WILL not destroy me. They are what they are.
I have choices about what I do with those emotions.
NO matter what, I am still a FABULOUS and ATTRACTIVE woman!
I choose to be in process with those emotions, and make healthy choices for myself today.
Today, I am going to get dressed nicely and go find something nice to do for myself.
Today I am going to remember that I am better than this sitch, I am above all of this crap, I don't deserve it and I will NOT let it destroy me.
Today I am going to LOVE ME!
I deserve better than this, and I am going to bring "better" into my life... I will not wait for H or anyone else to do that. It is my job, and I will do it for myself.
so there... Rocked has spoken!
Rocked, this is great. Thanks for posting this. I know it may not feel like it but you are "like a rock". Now I'm quoting stuff too With this attitude you are going to make it with flying colors! I hope you have a great day today!
I had a FABULOUS afternoon GALing... all by myself!
Put on my high heel black boots, new jeans and walked... no, correction, STRUTTED the mall...lol I did it to feel good about myself... just for me. Went to the bookstore and looked at some great books. Bought one that Bridgestone recommended... Why Men Love Bitches. This is such a 180 for me! I have been the "nice girl" all my life.
Here is the funny part... I'm enjoying my afternoon and ... like he senses it or something... H starts texting me wondering how I am and what I am doing. I let a few go without responding. Then finally respond that my day is getting better and better. Well, wouldn't ya know it... H calls 2 min. later. Don't answer. Wait for next call, pick up with a breezy, "Hey...". H is full of questions. I'm vague. Asks me 3x if I am with someone?
OMG too funny.
Just enjoyed this afternoon, got such a great laugh out of the "Convention" thread, did some great self care and now going to cozy up with a cup of tea and my new book.
I had a FABULOUS afternoon GALing... all by myself!
Put on my high heel black boots, new jeans and walked... no, correction, STRUTTED the mall...lol I did it to feel good about myself... just for me. Went to the bookstore and looked at some great books. Bought one that Bridgestone recommended... Why Men Love Bitches. This is such a 180 for me! I have been the "nice girl" all my life.
Here is the funny part... I'm enjoying my afternoon and ... like he senses it or something... H starts texting me wondering how I am and what I am doing. I let a few go without responding. Then finally respond that my day is getting better and better. Well, wouldn't ya know it... H calls 2 min. later. Don't answer. Wait for next call, pick up with a breezy, "Hey...". H is full of questions. I'm vague. Asks me 3x if I am with someone?
OMG too funny.
You mean . . . you mean, THIS STUFF WORKS???
That's it, I'm gonna HAVE to start chargin' now . . .
Sounding good, rocked!! Love the high heeled boots...I am a real shoe girl and I am getting serious about my shoe collection these days.
At some point the WAS really do make you laugh. Last night when I saw my H squeezed up asleep on the couch (his bed) with half his body hanging off I just wanted to laugh so badly. I had to run into my room and let it out. At that point I was glad to be ME, the LBS with the huge, comfortable bed to roll around in.
I am hurt, 
I am betrayed and I am grieving. Those emotions are real, they are very valid and they are part of reality for now.
Rocked has spoken! 