I have had so many people tell me to just get revenge through stbx's immigration status. But I also know that in the morning, I have to look at myself in the mirror and I knew I could never live with myself. But there was a time when I really considered it.
I am glad I didn't.
But as I was sitting here, I was trying to push the grief down and keep it in denial. But now, I am okay because I am feeling it, and still not crying. That might come later...
And I realize I am sad. No this isn't what I wanted. I wanted the happily ever after fairytale marriage that doesn't exist. And I would have taken the crazy, difficult marriage, as long as we both kept working at it, and kept loving each other. But, I am also satisfied in the knowledge that when push came to shove, I didn't bail. I stood. And now the time has come that I need to let go.
Thanks...I do feel a little better.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
