Still in the tunnel with hubby

[Chel]

Hi kjensen,

Being I am going through MLC and my H at this juncture keeps telling me he is going to leave but hasn't since bomb drop in
May - it certainly has not meant that he intended to work on our M or that he does not intend to leave or D but it just has not happened. I have been told I have a clinger and someone who is looking for me to give him my blessing. However, I made the choice as you to stand for our marriage. I really think you would be greatly benefited by checking out this link. I have dealt with the phone counselors and have rec'd and continue to receive excellent advice on this board; however, I was given this link and I don't know what I do without her research and advise.

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My worry is because his OW dumped him he is not back home as I am sure you had hoped he would come home. I also agree that you need to let go and focus on you, the trip you mentioned and your girls. I envy your H is going to counseling, my H refuses. My dilemna is to either let him stay and MLC or kick him out. He keeps telling me he is going but has not to-date for months; however, I've been told he could go at any time. So I am also a nurterer and don't like him to hve too much down time so I plan activities. I am cycyling between doormat behavior asnd taying to take csre of myself first snd not react to H's moods. I am learning to enjoy the times he is normal but attach no meaning. I also agree with other posters ML is just sex for men, they separate the two.

The MLC journey is horrible and we hate to see them hurting, screwing up but I honestly believe there is not a magic phrase or action that will give them an ahha moment.

The best thing we can do is take care of what we have control over, ourselves. I KNOW IT SUX!

Hugs, Michele

M 42
H 41
M 16 yrs
Together 23 yrs
Bomb 5/16/09
D papers painfully sitting on kitchen table
ALL WE HAVE IN THE END IS OURSELVES SO LET'S LIKE OURSELVES, TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES