Welcome back...good update. Glad to hear you're feeling more PMA right now, but I thought I'd respond to your earlier post.
I think the reasons for your feelings of late are very understandable. Although things seem good, H is back, A is over, he's trying....I THINK there's a big part of you that would like for him to REALLY GET what he's done to you and your M.
I, too have harboured such feelings, although CJ is far more empathetic than your H appears to be.
His dogging you for stupid stuff seems petty and I can sense your palpable irritation that he has the NERVE to gripe about such when HE's committed far more grave acts to harm your M.
I'm interested that you say that this side of him emerged after A #1? Because CJ played the role of more or less happy H until the sh!t hit the fan in our sitch...he's now more vocal about what displeases him...although in fairness it's usually about my sarcasm or irritability...some of the very things that contributed to his detachment from me.
I DO know that at first, he was MUCH more angry and short-tempered than he used to be, but now it's swung more towards assertiveness.
Back to YOU!!! ...I get the sense (and forgive me if I'm off base) that you two have not really talked about what contributed to his A's in the first place.
Seems like he's not that insightful or forthcoming on this? THAT would make me feel vulnerable too.
I also have to repeat that although you may not get this from your H any time soon...I really FEEL for your need to have H grasp the depth of the damage he's done, have some patience and kindness for you after all you've been through, after all the changes you've worked on.
...I get the sense (and forgive me if I'm off base) that you two have not really talked about what contributed to his A's in the first place. 