Can I save my marriage?

[Lll54]

Puppy, Thanks for pointing all that out. I get it now. I will work on that.

Citygirl, you may be right. I may thrive on it. I guess it gives me a sense of hope. The feeling that he is talking to me when a few weeks ago there was no such thing. I guess as much as I feel like I'm on the right track, it may just be because he is trying to make all this contact with me. If he wasn't trying to contact me at all, I am the first one to bet I wouldn't be doing as good as I am now. I recognize it. I'm going to give myself a little bit of props as at least I'm not oblivious and naive to all this. It has been two phone calls in 5 days now where he called just to talk. Time to cut those off. You're right, marriage is a package deal, I can't give him a little bit. That's what HE thrives on right now. Is that little bit of contact with me.

The power struggle is a good point. It may be that on my end from time to time. Maybe on his as well, that's why he continues to give me mixed signals, he feels like he can. Why? Because i let him. Then I fight to get that power back. It doesn't always work, but it has lately, and maybe that's why I feel so in control right now. But its not going to get me anywhere.

My meeting with the MC yesterday went well. I feel like I'm doing much better than last week. I haven't been sitting by the phone, I set a boundary last week, I haven't been at his beck and call, and I have been doing great GAL'ing. MC picked up on it all and said he sees a lot of progress in me even from our meeting last week. Makes me feel good about myself. He said he noticed that I'm starting to recognize issues in my M, and issues with H where as the past sessions I seemed to be so entangled in the moment that I was oblivious. So I feel good about myself.

My parents are coming to visit this weekend, so I'm excited to have some company! Going to look forward to that for now...and my doc appt....