Reading your post I began to wonder. What if he's picking at you so much, because he's so upset with himself? Is it possible he's projecting all his critizisms on you?
I wonder if he's numb to the pain because it's too much too handle?
Just some thoughts.
Have you tried Phoenix's strategy? Everytime he critizes you, give him a really big kiss.
She told him she was going to do it each time he did x, he was astonished she'd kiss him for doing something she didn't like...but she followed through and x stopped happening.
