Thanks to everyone for their replies. Just to clear up any confusion: yes, my wife admitted to a nooner with her boss. Said it happened once. Works with the guy at a bank, and he is an "indirect boss" to her, so they still see each other at work. Never met the guy. Caught her lying via the "fake texts" post above, and that was a little over a week ago. As I always read on here, I don't believe a word she says to me. I think she's in lala land, actually.
I'm understand better the idea of standing up for the marriage, and conveying that I'm not going to play games. However, my instincts scare me, since my true instinct is to blow the entire affair out of the water by letting it slip to the other guy's boss, making a stink about it, etc. My instinct is also to pay him a visit (not to get in a physical confrontation) but to simply let him know he is in over his head, mentally and physically. That's my instinct. To start flexing on both of them. So setting a boundary such as "homey don't play this" feels like the beginning of "blowing it up" to me, esp. since my nature is to love a good fight.
And yes, the text lies are stupid and somewhat funny. But this is my life, and being lied by a woman who refuses to move out and refuses to try to make amends other than simply hanging out at home and acting like a wife is incredibly painful for me on a daily basis.
Thanks. I appreciate the "tough love" and can handle it. Just trying to work through my strategy prior to executing it.
