And essentially how DB is not there to save the M - it's there to stop the D.
That's why you have to lovingly detach to the point you can walk down both paths. First goal stop all the negative feelings, step two become friends again, step three rekindle the romance and step four re-commit to the marriage.
I would look for a counsleor who is solutions based - someone trained in cognitive therapy.
Has anyone heard from Dia? She just disappeared.
So, I think we are b/w steps 2 and 3. I don't hate her, I am not angry at her and I have accepted how she feels. I think we are friends again. We work well together with family issues and we are nice to each other. I share my life with her and she does with me.
I understand (I think) about the walking two paths. Before, I didn't get that. But, I do now. I don't want a D but I will not live in a loveless M. Nor will I die a slow death in limboland. One way or the other, I will get out of that awful place.
Kind of like the bartender at closing time: You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. Well, you may not end up M'd, but you cant stay in limboland.
And, I think this is what I meant a couple of weeks ago when I said I was in a strange,new place. I went from pushing to reconcile to accepting only she can decide to come back. And, while I have a preference, I am ok with both. It's a weird feeling. I still love her, but if she doesn't want me, ok.
And, no, not that you mention it, I have not heard from Dia in a while.
