No you can and must do both. What helped me was the Stockdale Paradox. You must hold two parallel action plans in place - reconcile or divorce. Either way you thrive, takes a while to get there.
So how to protect yourself from hurtful behaviors - boundaries.
I feel ___________. When you do__________. I will do _________ when you do ______________. If you continue to do ______________ I will _______________.
her bad behavior = consequences = her choice
"I feel disrespected when you spend time with another man. I will not share you with another man. I have decided that if you do not cut off all contact then I will pack your bags and put them in the garage. If you continue to spend time with another man I will go see a lawyer to expedite a divorce."
[quote]and she said she baited me by sending fake texts so she could see if I had been spying on her.
What a piece of work this one is. OK - listen to what Coach says. Lay down the law on this little sister NOW. You have to be a hard a$$ with a case like this. My friend, this adult woman told you that she "baited" you with fake texts and she THINKS YOU WILL BELIEVE THIS! Are you that chump??? Say no! That would be like my teenage son telling me at the door "Mom, I gargled with bourbon just to see how good your nose really is. But I haven't been drinking." No, sir.
Call this meeting to order.
Grek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
