She has to want to work on the M - quite frankly, I do not want her if she does not want to work on the M and want to be with me.
So are you heading down a cheeseless tunnel? Address this.
What's been working? Taking your ring off, going out - what else. What gets a rise out of her, make her mad, emotion is your friend.
Coach,
I don't think I can answer your question about whether I'm heading down a cheeseless tunnel until we get with a MC. I have addressed this with her when she agreed to go, which was an about face for her (see below).
What I know right now is that she has voiced what is a change in her position about MC - that she is now willing to go to a MC and that reconciliation is a possibility. When she told me she would go, I did not accept it and high five myself. I questioned her about why she would agree to go now and told her (repeatedly) that if she was just going to show me she didn't love me anymore or that she was "done," there was no need to go for either of us. I gave her the open door and the way out of MC if that's what she wanted. She did not take that way out. Why, I do not know. I just know that was her decision.
What "worked" before was just what you listed. She was very unhappy with me not wearing my ring, going out and, just like Thinker, being mysterious.
So, right now, she's agreed to go to MC. According to her, reconciliation is on the table as a possibility. I have no expectations MC will give us any positive result (and I mean NO expectations), but I'm willing to see where it goes. I'm already D'd, right, so how can MC make that any worse?
And, you have helped me keep the MC aspect clearly in focus. If she goes down the "I'm done" and "My feelings will never change" paths, I know what to do. I will not go any further down that cheeseless tunnel.
