it seems like i should take some kind of stand with W about what is going on. i don't know how that would play out. even if wife agreed, wouldn't she just play along and then hide her drinking more? should I asked her to leave the house until she gets help?
Your wife is an alcoholic. She needs help. And YOU need help to learn how to deal with this also. To either cope in this abusive situation or devise a strategy to get out and save yourself.
I would recommend you seek out a conselour who specifies in working with spouses of alcoholics and a support group for the same. Have you ever gone to an AA meeting yourself just to listen to peoples stories; maybe to tell yours and hear the comments from recoverying alcoholics and the lengths their husbands and wives went to to help them. Most of them lost their jobs, homes and familys over their addiction.
Sometimes a crisis such as you leaving is enough to wake them up; sometimes it creates obsessive behavior trying to win you back. We have examples of this on this board.
