K4D Rising #4

[The Wifey]

CG,

I can tell you are incredibly frustrated. I do hope things are well with you, especially since you are newly, legally separated. My support and good wishes go out to you.

Kev,

Hey there. Dinner between wife and BIL was an event, and nothing more. She didn't just play nice. She held her cards close and came across as a reasonable person, because she made her decision and feels she chose correctly.

What you need to do is continue to work on you. Don't think any more about what she is doing or why. Go to AA, play with the girls, GAL, and all those things you need to do to help yourself heal.

Don't make any emotional decisions right now. From talking to you over these months, I have a hunch that the minute you announced you were done, filing, walking away that you would regret it right away.

Focus on you. Don't agonize over what she is doing or why. Muse in your head and maybe not as much here. It will make you crazy to have everyone smacking you every day. I know why they do it, but I see it differently.

Everyone's sitch is different. Similarities between sitch's do not make them identical. We are all affected differently by what we are going through. And you need to start s-l-o-w-ing down and not getting into a "circular reference."

Slow down, take it slow, don't analyze and mind-read. Keep your apartment up, work on you, love the girls. Those are the only things you have to do right now.

Nothing is going to happen over night with your sitch. No one thing is going to mark the turning point. Work on your growth.

Find those lists of what your w thinks you need to work on for a starting point and figure YOU out. Figure out your values, what you want, what your priorities are. Grow.

Talk to you soon.