peace - I agree that 3-4 years isn't always enough time. I predict that H will still be in this for at least another year or so, and sadly, it's another year that I'm not willing to wait out for him. Not that my heart doesn't want to - rationally, it no longer makes sense to me and doesn't seem like the right thing to do. Strangely, the reason I held on for so long was in large part for my kids - and my kids are now the reason I feel I need to bring the M to an end. I don't think we're teaching them what a M should look like. They're getting older and can understand so much more.
forward - this is definitely the LRT in effect for me. I've got nothing to lose at this point. I'm ready for it.
oc - I think the friendliness is actually out of loneliness. I do think he's having second thoughts, but not strong enough to act on them fully yet. I also think that he doesn't necessarily want me and kids back, but that he doesn't want to let us go because he doesn't want anyone else to have us. Selfish. Of course, I have no idea if any of this is accurate because he tells me nothing!
No reply from him and I just heard that he took off out of town, completely last minute. Perfect excuse to not be able to meet up with me.
I'm stumped and not sure what my next move will be. As much as I thought I was prepared for this, beginning the D proceedings is much more emotionally difficult than I thought.
