Longtime coming...

[Awoken]

it seems like i should take some kind of stand with W about what is going on. i don't know how that would play out. even if wife agreed, wouldn't she just play along and then hide her drinking more? should I asked her to leave the house until she gets help?

what really concerns me, is that it's not just drinking, but the fact that she is not being treated for bi-polar. as I've said in earlier posts. she announced in our once joint MC session that she had quit her meds 6 months ago. I check the medicine cabinet and found that she had gone to the hmo general doctor and got a med just for depression. who knows what she told that doctor; besides the alochol does'nt help at all. So, I've got to get her to get treatment for BOTH alochol and BPD? or tackle the BDP first?

one angle I could take is to contact her parents. right now her plans are to leave next tuesday for the other side of the country spend thanksgiving with them and party with her old highschool friends. Me and the kids will stay here for thanksgiving. Her BPD showed up in early teens, including a suicide attempt. It's unclear to me weather her parents clearly acknowledge exactly the nature of it. Her dad often tells her that she need to "just calm down!" and he's a registered nurse. On top of that, my relationship with them is not very good. my fault. a few days after the bomb, i sent them a brief email about some friends performing in there area, and then added at the end that I knew I had not been very good at expressing it but "I loved them very much". I received a reply of "thanks for your kind words". I think I've earned some bad will from them, or W has already set them against me.

I still think I could reason with them. I'm thinking about calling them on the day that W flys there and asking for there help with the sitch: not with the M, but with the drinking and BPD. I know I'm not supposed to reach out to family members for help. what do you think?

I'm also still thinking about possible OM, but I don't have enough info anymore, even a clear idea about when she might be meeting him so that I could hire PI. My best guess is that there was brief OM, and that that trigger all this. but when I read the posts by robx, puppy, gucci, I feel like this is just foolish of me.