Dan is a master manipulator IMO..he will manipulate the situation to his advantage.
The status quo is he loses nothing if things stay the same..he still has farm, cows, comes and goes as he wants..he has a lot of control..he loses nothing...
has he ever signed for receipt of the papers yet??
Grr...he hasn't done it yet. I started our convo by asking him about that. He said he didn't have it done, I asked if I needed to serve him, he said no, and then started in on the convo...
It was strange, he was crying and everything. As in, tears running down his face on to the table. He said that he felt me leaving him for a long time before he left me, that I wasn't the same woman he married. And I don't accept responsibility for his affair. But he is right.
All those moves, being away from friends and family, then becoming a mom, a stay-at-home mom, I was lonely, and a little bit lost. I knew I had always dreamed of getting to stay home. And I did love it. But at the same time, I was lonely for adult conversation. And having moved so many times, I had a hard time making friends. Especially when I didn't have a job to go to where I could meet people. So in a lot of ways, I know I did change. But it doesn't excuse his choices.
So back to the point...he said he was looking for me and I wasn't there (looking back I do remember some conversations/arguments we had where I can see that was the issue but I didn't see it then, long story)...
So then he says, "You weren't there, and I made some stupid, stupid choices. And now you are back..." At the end of the convo he said he was crying b/c he was sad at what had happened to us but also b/c he was happy that I was 'me' again...
IDK what to think. But I am not turning around and waiting for him. If he actually wants me, he knows what he would have to do to catch up to me.
On that note, IM'd with CMG (cute marathon guy) for the first time this evening. Our schedules don't line up to go out this week, and I have girl's weekend with my college roomie Fri-Sun. His response? "No rush, you have my interest and attention. :)" Then we both shared funny things we have encountered from others on the site.
Oh, and the good news is, he has NOT 1) Asked me if I am horny, 2)Told me that he woke up hard (and then asked if I wanted to see!!) 3)Used poor grammar 4)Sent me a shirtless pic
He is originally from Jersey (near NY) so I asked if he still had his accent (I actually like accents). He said it is mostly gone but some people think he says his 'a' differently...
OK my naughty Sydney just got out of bed at 10:30. Time to go chase her down!
Grab that little one, hug her tight, give her water and read her back to sleep. I miss that age. They are just so sweet and cuddly.
Careful, careful, careful with Dan. You sound like you have it under control with him though. Just make sure that you odn't accidentally reverse any of the changes you have made for yourself.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Nope, not reversing any changes. They were all for me, not for him. Took me almost two years to figure that out.
I am loving 95% of my life right now. To get to 100%, I would love to have someone to share life's adventures with. To laugh with! I don't consider him a viable option right now. With time, who knows? But I am not waiting on time any more.
He actually said something (after saying he wasn't sexually attracted to me) along the lines of, I was more appealing to him now than I was 6 months ago... I just said, "Well then, in another 6 months you'll probably be wanting me and by then I will already have a boyfriend who wants me, that will suck!" or something like that. All in a lighthearted tone, not a bitchy one. And he said he didn't doubt for a minute that there were a ton of guys wanting to go out with me, he didn't know what was wrong with him...
So, I prefer to spend time talking to guys who are interested!
<<"You weren't there, and I made some stupid, stupid choices. And now you are back..." At the end of the convo he said he was crying b/c he was sad at what had happened to us but also b/c he was happy that I was 'me' again...>>
Wow...maybe I AM cynical but this reaks of manipulation to me..... Some who are more positive than I am may say that this is great he is finally opening up....showing his emotions...
So you were not your old self? That is why he cheated on you how many times? I thought it was because you broke his dream to go to school or have a cow business or....
There was a mutual friend on this site who coined the phrase "Dan is broken".... Well he may be broken but he knows how to play his cards...I am glad you are way stronger today and don't buy into the cowdong that he is spewing...
Keep walking BBJ....don't worry that 5% that eludes you is not far off....you may be surpised.....it may actually all add up to 110%.
That is what you deserve...not someone who shifts the blame to you for his shortcomings....past and present.
They are just so sweet and cuddly.