Thanks for fixing the spelling, was in a state this morning.
My emotions are all over the place at this moment. Like you said my fear is of the unknown.
She has said this morning that she is only going to MC because I want to and to respect my wishes.
I guess the question is, is that good enough for me? That is where my emotions go for a ball.
On the one hand I want to go and see that maybe there is something that could happen that could help.
On the other hand I feel like I am delaying the inevitable from happening.
I have said to her that I only want to go to MC if she will shelve the decisions to leave until after the 12 sessions recommended by our MC and follow through on any work we are given.
I realize now that it is not possible for her to do that and that my request is trying to manipulate her into something she does no want to do.
My thought at the moment is to open the cage. I want to say that I love her and will not stand in her way and that if she truly feels like she does not want to try then I will not ask her to . I WILL respect her decision as hard as that will be.
I personally cannot take much more of this. I know I need to move forward either way, but that fear has paralyzed me.
The more I look at it, it is not so much the fear of losing my W anymore, it is the fear of losing my S.
I know I will not lose him and he will always be a part of my life, but it does shatter allot of my dreams I had.
My W will want to live an hours drive from where I will have to stay. She says we will have joint custody and that she will not keep him from me, it will be very hard logistically.
I think the time has come for me to ACCEPT! I just wish I knew how
M: 30 W: 32 Married: 9 years s: 2.8 Bomb dropped: 7-10-09 same house, bed, no physical contact My sitch: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1871805&page=1
