Sad to be here

[Norm914]

It would help us if you describe your sitch more fully. What are your wife's complaints about the M?

Same issues, really. Lack of communication, which leads to lack of intimacy. We had years of good marriage; “I couldn’t have found anyone better for me if I searched the world over”. But problems arise, as they always do. And like most couples, we don’t deal with them well. Neither of us likes to argue or confront. So the problems just boil and fester under the surface until one day she snaps and says, “I’m outta here.” “We live like roommates”. Which was true.

How did you reconcile after the separation?

The first time, I didn’t seek any help as I have here on this BB. She had no ties here, so she filed for divorce and left the state to work elsewhere. I refused to sign the papers. I pursued and pleaded for the first three or four months (of seven) and for the last three I “went dark” even though I had no concept of that tactic. I was “done” the night she called out of the blue and said, “I want to talk”. It was salvation in the eleventh hour.

Did you go to MC?

Not last time. This time we went to one session after the separation. It was a disaster. When she said, “I’m done”, the counselor said, “Well, let’s talk about what is next.”

Is she seeing someone else?

I really don’t think so. I’ve examined the cell phone bill and I don’t see anything that would lead me to believe that.