Bunny, forgive me for seeming dramatic here, but the morgue is full of people who thought they knew how their spouses would react in any given situation.
I mean, just look at how frightened you are when he comes home! Laying low, steering clear, etc.
Please, I am begging you:
1.DO NOT TELL HIM UNTIL YOU ARE ALREADY MOVED OUT!
2.Do not give him your address.
3. Never be alone with him again. Ever!
4. Let your atty handle all of the property division, and let him make sure you get your fair share.
As far as telling the kids, that should be done at the last possible moment as well. Believe me, you do not want there to be any lag time to allow your h to work on you with more manipulation or to "accidentally" do anything to you. You are in a very dangerous situation and for some reason, you are minimizing it.
