Well, I haven't seen papers yet, but I did look it up online. She did file.
Tonight she asked me to take care of the kids music lessons on Wed. I said I could not. I did not elaborate and don't feel I need to. She gave up on our marriage and this is how it will be. I am happy to help with the kids, but she only calls me when the help involves paying for something (like guitar lessons, piano lessons, food for a b-day, etc...) and I haven't seen a penny back.
I am now convinced that my wife is depressed. I read the chapter in DR about dealing with a depressed spouse. Holy smokes, it describes my wife to a T. I am not free of blame in this R breakdown; but I can honestly say that I am feeling much better about what her share was. The description of depression, symptoms, history, spouses response to it...they are all DEAD on with what I went through. I knew it too; I just didn't handle it right.
It's not too late; but this is going to mean changing my approach. No longer can I look at my W as someone who is simply angry with me and looking for a way out, I need to realize that it is not my W, but a version of the woman I fell in love with that has been taken over by depression.
I feel guilty; but I also feel some relief. I hope she can find help and deal with this. My oldest daughter has mentioned things that concern me and it was like a whack on the back of the head. I feel like an idiot for not seeing this before.
All I can do now is help myself. There is nothing I can do for her but remain amicable and keep my distance and hope her IC can see the issue and help her with it.
