Spouse Suffering From Depression

[Lucky11too]

Sorry I know right now instead of encouraging you I am more helping you H bash. I will pray that you will find some peace tonight so you can get a good night's rest.

Ha, don't worry about that. Sometimes in these hard times, that empathy goes a long way! So thanks for understanding and always trying to encourage me even when you're going thru a hard time too. =)

I am taking this whole pretty hard, but I know I need to stay with it even so. There's a lot more at stake if I don't. Thanks for that reminder - H loves S and will take care of him. He makes a lot of stupid decisions (taking S to this party is one of them. Grr) but he has always been good to S. Oh, what is with these H's. Don't they get that there is a different boundary when you make that commitment to be married. You can't just go out with your "friends" whenever you want to with no concern for your wife. Oh, and have you gotten the double standard line too about how they are allowed to go out with their 'friend' but don't even think about me going out with a guy friend. (I have set boundaries for myself that I wouldn't do that as a married woman, but still, stop with the double standard!) K, done H bashing. =P

Yes, must not contact H...say it again...must not contact H. Unfortunately it's my natural reaction to want to defend myself and he definitely kept pushing today until I broke, but I have been successful in not contacting him since to continue to defend myself (like I used to do). His attacks were unfair, twisted, and cruel, but it really does not do any good to fight him, especially when he honestly believes in his head that he did nothing wrong and I'm at complete fault (that dissidence theory). It's frustrating.

I'm thinking, and would you agree then, that it's best then just to sit tight then and let him make the next move? I guess we'll have to talk at some point. We still haven't talked about thanksgiving yet. His family invited me to their gathering, but at this point, I really don't feel like going or maybe I should so S can see his family. Since my family has their gathering in the afternoon and the in-laws at night, we have always done both. I don't think I should invite him to ours though for sure (he said quite a few mean things about my parents today during the fight). Decisions...