Its rather easy RDW. When its revenge you want. Your not ready.
I know Cutter, I know. *sigh* I guess we've all struggled through the injustice in our sitches. Back to detachment I guess... which took a serious derailment after bomb 2 and needs to get back on track.
I know how hard it is when you whole day is consumed with thoughts of how unfair this is...
You play back your whole history wondering where you went wrong, if you could have said something different, done something different, wore something different etc...
You don't need a newsflash to tell you this isn't about you...
I would tell you to drop the rope however I am not sure I have even mastered that yet...
I just try to stay very busy throughout the day so my mind doesn't wander and then when it does, I take different techniques I learned here to stop the thought process -
Some days are just better then others
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
I am realizing I need to start setting and keeping small goals for myself for each day while I am taking this time off work. Otherwise, I end up with a day like today where I dwell on all the crap! Hobbies are good... I have tried to pick up a few before bomb2 and maybe need to get back to that. Kara... I like that. I am going to start my day tomorrow in my journal with one or two to focus on.
I am also finding that negative energy is very easy to feed and fuel. I know that I sometimes need to vent so that I don't explode but BY FAR my worst days are when I begin to talk in negatives about my sitch to my few confidantes. Then everything seems to be magnified and I have to pull it back. The trick is to feed the positive dog. That is why I like the "I am in the process of". It will help me to pull back when I start going down Sorry Street.
Hey rocked, this has shades of some of the thinking I mentioned in the post I put up at (I think) the Detachment thread ... remember? The seeking of Justice and Empathy by the LBS. And how ultimately, it's probably meaningless.
Still, good to see the way you are getting stronger. But don't give in to your anger completely, it may make you stronger, but at what price? (oops, sorry for yet another Star Wars Paraphrase haha).
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.
I am also finding that negative energy is very easy to feed and fuel. I know that I sometimes need to vent so that I don't explode but BY FAR my worst days are when I begin to talk in negatives about my sitch to my few confidantes. Then everything seems to be magnified and I have to pull it back. The trick is to feed the positive dog. That is why I like the "I am in the process of". It will help me to pull back when I start going down Sorry Street.
Makes so much sense Kara. Hey, btw... that "positive dog" you are feeding... any relation to Puppy Dog Tails?
Hey rocked, this has shades of some of the thinking I mentioned in the post I put up at (I think) the Detachment thread ... remember? The seeking of Justice and Empathy by the LBS. And how ultimately, it's probably meaningless.
Still, good to see the way you are getting stronger. But don't give in to your anger completely, it may make you stronger, but at what price? (oops, sorry for yet another Star Wars Paraphrase haha).
Oooh... you are right Deep. I should really re-read that because it struck a chord with me at the time. Since bomb2 I almost felt like I was starting over... not quite, but to some extent. The thing is the anger is fairly new for me and it is helping me get stronger for sure. Oh, and don't worry... I can resist the dark side...
