I never thought I would be here

[TrentC]

I know now the only thing left for me to truly be free or at least the first step to my freedom and being a better man is forgiveness. That is the tough part, and it will take some time.

All of this takes time. You will be okay, one way or the other. The important thing to do is to let go of any guilt, or responsibility, for your wife's actions.

If you really want to make your M work -- if you plan to be able to take her back, warts and all -- you must decide to forgive her.

It doesn't have to be now. You can wait until she tells you that she wants back into the relationship; but you have to do it at some point.

Forgiveness is not minimizing how badly she hurt you; in fact, it can only be real forgiveness if you accept the reality.

Forgiveness means relinquishing, forever, the right to seek revenge for that pain.

All that keeps playing in my mind is seeing my wife having sex with these 2 people I know, and I feel so much anger. I can't even stand to be under the same roof as her. I'll be glad when she is moved out. It makes me sick! I just can't seem to shake the images from my head.

You need to figure out how to cope with this, because you will drive yourself crazy if you cannot overcome it.

When those movies start playing in your head, imagine a big STOP sign filling your mind's eye and find something else to focus on. You may need some additional reinforcement; one poster here said she keeps a thick rubber band around her wrist, and when she finds her mind going down that route, SNAP!