Just so you know what ours is based on: our county guidelines. He gets them every other weekend and every Tuesday night from 5-9. He is supposed to have them back by 6 on Sundays. So sadly the boys only see him 4 days a month. They are totally fine with it and really don't want to see him then. I can't believe he doesn't sense that!!
The girls go off to his house every other weekend. Again nothing that they want to do. I try to make it like it will be fun to see Daddy, umm I think they have built in BS meters and just look at me as if I am crazy.
I think they will be as relieved as I will be when I don't have to see him on any sort of regular basis.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Our agreement was every other weekend and Wednesday nights from 6-9. Of course, Marc doesn't want to go and Gabe doesn't encourage him to come so he very rarely does. I have him 99% of the time. Pretty sad.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
You know, it really makes me sick every time I see stories of "fathers" who could care less of the amount of time they spend with their kids, and people like me who want more time and their kids miss them are still being continually sucked dry for less.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Well, I really need to have the same amount of child support/alimony I have now, at least on a temp. basis until I could hopefully in the future get a full-time job at some point.
I haven't decided about the child support stuff. I'm thinking we could leave it as is now, but I would want Tuesday nights b/c of the activities my kids like to do. Or revert back to the Wed. nights and every other weekend we did for a few months until the latest change. If we do the Wed. night, the kids would miss out on our Wed. activities though. If X has Mondays as he does now, it's likely we'll continue to have issues with me getting school info as it has been the past 2 months.
I would like to have something firm, because X has changes the visitation every few months which I don't think is good for the kids.
I'm trying to write down this next couple days my defense/offense I would like the L to present. I know what issues X will bring up (lie about) and will tell her those. My issues with him are his anger issues, lack of sharing the kids' school info: the class newsletters and project info that D9 gets on Mondays. He didn't give me any of the info again this week. Maybe that he makes decisions based on punishment/control even if it will affect the kids. Any other ideas?
I'm going to type up his visitation over the past 18 months also, from nearly any to now. He says its b/c I was homeschooling he didn't ask for them more, but actually when you're hsing your schedule is more flexible, and doesn't make sense.
Could you talk to your children's teacher about waiting and sending folder home on Tuesdays?
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
I think the teacher is so busy; it's hard for them to do special stuff with the 26 kids they have. The other co-teacher, told me she told D9's homeroom teacher to send it home to me on Tuesday, but she is choosing not to do that for whatever reason. She knows I don't get the info. She told me last week well D9 had really great work, but I didn't ever get to see it. I also think if they violate their sending info home on Monday with X, he will throw a major fit, and really don't want to subject the teacher to that...I do think it's something to bring up in court, and will ask the L about that.
I had a great weekend with the kids. They both got colds, and now I do too. Oh, well. D9 had her soccer game Saturday am, then we vegged out playing Monopoly and stuff until a church party last night. I had to ask X to have the kids an extra half hour last night to do it, and was pleasantly surprised when he said yes. So that was fun. I miss the kids already though!!!
The theatre director asked me to do the spotlight lighting for the next play. It runs from the 4th to the 13th of December, so starts 2 days after the divorce. I'd probably have to do a couple weeks of rehearsal though, so would probably be involved with that for the next month right before/during/after the divorce. I feel pretty prepared for all this stuff, but do you think it would be too much during the D or a good idea to distract me from the D?
I think your focus right now needs to be making your L work hard for what is best for you and your kids. I know you love this stuff, but say no this round and keep to the task at hand. If you need to keep busy after, volunteer to usher or something not so demanding of your time.
Just remember you asked.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I went today and told my friend I can't work on that one. Looking closer at the dates, I realized my D hearing is smack in the middle of that one. You both are 100% right! It's very tiring, and I do need to focus on the kids and the trial. I think my X has probably been doing that for the past year or more!
I made an appt. with my L for next Monday afternoon (the only time she had available until December she said! I'm going to type up lists of stuff we need defensive/offensive. I think he's going to say I didn't communicate stuff (has sent me several emails after I sent him an email to say I didn't) so will try to print out as much as I have been saving (I didn't save the whole last 18 months, but should be enough to show he's full of crap. May bring up my depression (severe) I had Dec.2007 and maybe January 2008 (well after hearing my X wanted a D, was in love with the OW, and my brother had brain tumor (all basically about the same week), I think most people would be depressed severely!!! But I immediately went to the therapist and got ADs and therapy, so I hope that wouldn't be a problem.
I'm going to list his weaknesses: anger and lack of communication, and the last-minute increase in custody for him. Will need to go through emails for those, too. Will be SO GOOD to have this over with. I have to say my friend's invitation to throw a party does seem less and less ridiculous as time goes on!!!
List your positives too because you do a ton of wonderful things for your kids. Hang in there. I am hoping that any judge could see what craziness your H posses inside his head.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Speaking of crazy. Just talked to D9's principal. I had hand-delivered the letter requesting IEP evaluation last week. She said b/c of new federal regulations, it takes 9 to 18 months for a child to get ESE, if she does get them at all.
I told her we're involved with the local CARD center and every other AS child in the group that attends ps receives ESE services. She said that was the first time she had heard of autism. I said yes, X gave them the evaluator's testing and her diagnostic testing from U of W autism center. Somebody that doesn't even know that why bother talking with them....
She was telling me D9 is so excited about math etc. she may not need it. I have the 48 score she would have actually received if not for the intervention of her teacher changing her grades. Public school in Florida sucks!!!
I am planning on asking the L to be allowed to pull D9 from school if she doesn't receive ESE by 5th grade. That would give them a full year to do all their observations/interventions, etc. It's such crap....
I also got a call for a FT job interview for a Medical Disability Examiner on Friday. High turnover from what I googled, but I think the pay was good. Of course, if I have to pull D9 out next year, I wouldn't be able to do a FT job, but will worry about that next year I guess, if I actually would get the job.
The Principal also wants some kind of assessment testing from last year and asked me if we'd done the FCAT. Why I would subject her to that for no reason last year I can't imagine esp. with her autism/lds....I did the time4learning for part of our day so will see if I can printout any reports from them.
