Is this the end of my marriage?

[P17]

One of the nice things about texts and e-mails is that you DON'T have to respond right away, unlike a phone call where you are on the spot with the other person and on the receiving end of their emotional state. Compose a draft, and then put it away. Go back in an hour. Read it out loud.

I suppose. That's a point that I never thought about!

The reason I hate them though is that they are often misinterpreted.

Being nice, caring and loving DOES NOT equal needy, weak and clingy. If you can get yourself detached and are feeling strong and confident in yourself and where you are in your life, you can be kind and loving without coming across as weak or needy. Think how you would behave toward a neighbor who had an illness or physical disability.

I'm not detached or where I need to be in life. I do try to fake it though. Doesn't always work.

Detachment will hopefully come when I start NC.

I don't think she took my text in the way that we are talking though. I do act nice, caring and loving towards my W, or at least I think I do. I have had my moments though.

Also, seems to me that you keep expecting her to act logically, and every one of her actions and statements can be taken at face value. They don't work that way.

You're right I do. At least where D is concerned. I just cannot get my head around this situation with D and how she can be attentive to what she wants but at the same time know she has destroyed our marriage and family (assuming of course she does know that).