Is this the end of my marriage?

[Arwen_in_NJ]

[quote=P17
My reply wasnt meant to come across as that. It is one of the reasons I hate texts. I already said to W to call me rather than text. She did it twice and then has gone back to texts. No more texts from me - calls only. Have left a vm asking W to do the same.

I was just trying to be civil and to the point with the text.

This is something that does cause me issues though. Being nice, caring and loving (read needy, weak and clingy) has helped to get me to this stage. All I want to do now is be civil and factual. [/quote]

One of the nice things about texts and e-mails is that you DON'T have to respond right away, unlike a phone call where you are on the spot with the other person and on the receiving end of their emotional state. Compose a draft, and then put it away. Go back in an hour. Read it out loud.

Being nice, caring and loving DOES NOT equal needy, weak and clingy. If you can get yourself detached and are feeling strong and confident in yourself and where you are in your life, you can be kind and loving without coming across as weak or needy. Think how you would behave toward a neighbor who had an illness or physical disability.

Also, seems to me that you keep expecting her to act logically, and every one of her actions and statements can be taken at face value. They don't work that way.