I want to say the right things to convince him not to move out yet, so that I can continue to divorce bust and also for our daughter’s sake. Please, any advice on what to say or do tonight?
there are no magic words to convince anyone to do what you want. You can set boundaries, validate and have a dialouge like a adult. Look at what your MC told you:
Quote:
Once he told the counselor that he never loved me and he was done, she said, brace yourself, “Ok, there’s nothing more I can do for you.”!
His mind is made up. You only control your thoughts and actions.
You can't stop him from moving out, filing D paper or seeing his old girlfriend.
What's likely to happen tonite:
- he's going to want to continue going to MC
- he's going to drop another bomb, give you a laundry list of issues and tell you he is moving out
So how do you handle it?
Validate - I understand how you could feel that way.
Boundaries - I feel ____________. When you do ______________. I will point out when you behave this way. If you continue to do this then I will_______________.
"I feel disrespected when you go out with another woman. I will not share my husband with another woman. If you can't break off contact then I will help you pack your bags and see a lawyer about my options."
Don't let him turn it around on you, validate his issues. Then point out his behavior that is unacceptable. Stay calm, bite your tongue if needed, don't get personal, and call him out on his bad behavior. You can handle it.
Cheers Coach
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
