#66 Looking for Susnhine...

[Forrest Gump]

What was is you said.. be "coy".

I think that would really apply here.

My brain is fried. Sorry I did not get you meant "Open the Door".

[Kalni]

coy? What does it mean?

[Forrest Gump]

Coy

artfully or affectedly shy or reserved

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/coy

check your mail.

[mishka422]

regular dancing can lead to horizontal dancing......

[AliSuddenly]

I think you should talk to him about this, not about her or the past, like you say you dont want to be seen to be 'nagging' too much about all of that right now. Ask him if he feels stressed by it?

Do you think HE is worried? You said you are worried it wont be that great, do yuo think he is? Not because of her, because of what you two are like. Or, fear of comparison? Afterall, he hacked your email too right.

I agree with Mish and like I said, can you surprise him, mix him up a little from his comfort zone? - arrange a sitter and go be at his apartment (his Dad can give you a key?).. be asleep in his bed in something fancy, but with no expectations...

I think that they cope better when there is NO pressure, like in the dead of night, as I discovered

[Kalni]

Today is the anniversary of the separation. I will never forget that Sat morning when we told our son, "dad was moving out". We should have warned him. Looking back, we f@cked up and as a result, my son still has issues because of THAT day. 2 years.

My life has changed so much. And everything is the...same.
M

[AliSuddenly]

Wow Maria, for me too. 2 years today, I now remember him leaving with his bag... 2 weeks worth but he was gone 11 weeks and then..never came back till this May.

We have been through so much, you and I and you have had to cope with so much more than me.. with the effect on your children as well as yourself and your confidence and self-esteem. How about booking yourself a therapist? It really is a lot to grieve and heal and get past. Its no wonder things are still a little rocky.
Hugs al xxx

[Kalni]

I sent him a message telling him it is 2 years today. That it seems like yesterday and like ages ago at the same time.
No answer. No problem
K

[AliSuddenly]

What did you expect him to say though? I expect he either
a) feels awful. Bad, guilty, ashamed and doesnt know what to say.
(Whenever I phrase things that way to my bf, he just stares at me, wordless. When I ask why he doesnt say anything, he says, because I feel so bad and guilty, what can I say?)
or.. b) he's in a meeting and hasnt seen/can't respond to it yet?

What if you had messaged him... "I felt a little sad this morning as its 2 years today when you first left, but then I remembered how you came back and how we are rebuilding this and then I felt really blessed...

???

[kat727]

You could always tack that last bit on. No one like to continually reminded of the bad. I think in my case if I had got a life and been more positive and stopped rubbing his nose in it, it may have been different. I will never know. You might.

kat