Agree 100% on the patience suggestion. Something I don't get however...men in general don't ask for directions even if they are lost....he should not be lost. He should know how to win back his wife's confidence...he should be doing everything to make his wife feel like she IS the most important thing in the world to him...he should be doing EVERYTHING to make Maria feel like a beautiful woman!
I would agree w/the patience as well, but I would say that I think he is lost and at a loss as to what to do.
True, he SHOULD know, but he doesn't trust his instincts to do the right thing. He is really, really confused and the last time he trusted his instincts he had an A and almost threw away his entire family.
So, while he SHOULD know what to do, I firmly believe he doesn't right now and may not "get it" for a while...hence the "patience" thing.
"I am worried he shows no interest in pursuing me sexually."
Well.. this is not his LL. I can't remember what his was now. This is something that we have talked about alot. The idea that he does not want to "pursue" you should not worry you. It is not meant to be hurtful or a mark against him. You 2 just have different priorities for showing love. Yes.. I understand about the other woman and what he did. Again.. keep in mind he did those things when he was "done" with you. Does not excuse the action and he is responsible for acting in that manner. You can't compare your relationship (now) to the other one he had. If you make the choice to "work" on it please don't hinder yourself by analyzing the situation to death. You have proven you can stand on your own. You are choosing to let him back in because that is what you want.
"Today he came to the airport, he left, going to Ukraine. He was nervous about the trip and still managed to go pick up the kids before he left and wanted to buy a perfume for him that I like."
Although subtle I have said all along people will show you how to love them. Why would a man that does not understand "you" at all go out and buy something that made him smell enjoyable to you? Maybe he wanted you to say he smelt nice.. did you?
"I want this game to pass and then hopefully things will start showing where they are heading..."
If neither of you know where you are heading.. where are you going? How can you remedy that?
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
Yes Forrest, I did tell him. And while I have to struggle most of the time, I do little things that I know are his LL, (acts of service) and also use my LL because it comes natural.
I do MANY, MANY little things for him that I dont post here. I dont talk about the A, I bought him something for the trip he said he wanted, I ordered a gift for his nameday and the kids gave it to him on Saturday (something very special), I look good and smell good when he comes here, I am OPEN to suggestions and dont complain about things he expects me too, I am supportive with his work as always,I am tender and vulnerable to him, I am making a stand with my behaviour towards friends and family, I compliment him on his looks and job (at the game Saturday) and as a dad, I dont push for time especially when I know he is crazy busy etc etc
I am not going to keep tabs of what I am getting cause I will get disapointed. My motive now is to either move forward or be done. It's all or nothing kind of thing for me. K
"My motive now is to either move forward or be done. It's all or nothing kind of thing for me."
Yes.. that has kinda been the goal all along. It can be difficult to put a time line on "all or nothing".
"I do MANY, MANY little things for him that I dont post here."
I don't doubt that at all. I assure you I am not saying it is a lack of effort on your part. To a point I think if you concentrated that effort on a few key things you might "see" better results.
"I dont talk about the A"
Not sure I agree with that so much. It can be an opportunity to open communication.
"I bought him something for the trip he said he wanted, I ordered a gift for his nameday and the kids gave it to him on Saturday (something very special)"
What could be confusing here is that you buy him lots of gifts. Maybe that is why you get and Ipod instead of some "good lovin". I know it is a tuff line and it takes "work" to figure it all out.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
Do you think you could plan a special evening for just the two of you? Romantic dinner, candles, dancing, a midnight stroll, etc......relax together and enjoy each other's company. The more of that you can do the more natural things should come to you both. What do you think?
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
