Let me ask you a very reasonable question. Why does your BIL have so much power over you? Is it because he is pro-marriage and very successful?
Your BIL seems to view himself as a very powerful man. Who is he to tell you to hold off on making choices about YOUR life until he talks to your W? Can you see from an outsiders perspective how that comes off?
Why does your BIL feel he can get any further with your W than you can? It seems rather strange to me that your super smart, super successful BIL doesn't see that perhaps your W was just "playing nice" and not wanting to look like the bad guy.
And please pardon this question as it is blunt but why do you put so much stock in what your BIL says but not what hundreds of people in the SAME SITUATION try to get you to think about on an hourly basis.
Hell, the County Clerk's office closed 20 min. ago which means I am now officially and legally separated and I am still pro-marriage, just not *this* marriage.
Sometimes you have to give a little to get a little. I realize I sound like a hard-ass and in my situation I had to be one but just two days ago I mentioned in your thread what was happening to ME today and not once have you asked how I am doing. But I kept plugging away with you and YOUR problems.
Get out of your own head, it will be the only way to see things clearly. Actions speak, words do not. Your W has not put forth one action towards you that would indicate she has any interest in working on the marriage. I am sorry to say that but it seems to be the reality of the situation.
But this power your BIL has over you probably should have some examination as it seems very strange to me. This is just my opinion but I think you want to be your BIL - he has a good job and your W respects him for that and that is why you allowed him to attempt to control things with your W. Just think about that for a while.
