Puppy: insisting the affair be over before meeting his emotional needs: He isn't asking me to meet any needs.
I never said that he did. My point is that if you ARE (regardless of whether or not he asked you to), you are -- in my opinion -- "letting him out of the crucible," as it were, and prolonging his timeline for making a decision.
Put more simply, people don't take difficult actions until they feel CRISIS. Far from allowing him to feel crisis, you would be adding a degree of COMFORT with your pursuit.
