He's moving out today

[allyg8r]

He's in the process of moving out today. I feel like it's for the best. He wanted to move out back when he dropped the bomb (variation on ILYBINILWY: "I don't feel anything for you anymore"). I fought him moving out for a while and was absolutely miserable. He just walked all over me. Then I took my power back and told him to be out by the time I got back from a work trip (11/5) - he said he had problems finding a place b/c he didn't want to sign a long term lease. His boss is letting him stay rent- and lease-free in one of his investment properties.

When we talk about our R, he's all over the place. I end up more confused than when we started out. When I make concrete steps towards the separation: giving him a move date, opening my own bank account, etc., he gets huffy and accuses me of wanting the separation more than he does. He wants some time and space to see if he wants to come back to the M, but if I try to protect myself and my interests, he gets offended.

His idea is that during our S, we will "re-date" each other. One formal date a week, a MC session once every other week, and maybe some "hang out" time on the weekends. That was more than I was expecting - I have a feeling it won't be that often. He's given me some big signs to hope for reconciliation - not wanting a long-term lease, wanting to see me, he initiated MC - but then he'll say something that makes me think he's already gone and is just going through the motions. Like him being adamant that we're not spending the holidays together or blowing me off if we do have plans. Him continually saying that he feels no emotion towards me is the absolute worst though. Sometimes I believe him and sometimes I think it's just a defense mechanism.

In our conversations, there's one topic that has continually come up: he always says he wants us to be supportive of each other. He said if something bad happened to him, I'd be the first person he would call. That just makes me feel like he's using me. That he can go off and act like a wild-n-crazy single guy, but he'll call the wifey to bail him out when he gets into trouble. Yesterday's conversation was especially bizarre. His idea of one thing I should "support" him on is letting him crash on the couch if he's too intoxicated from a night out to drive all the way to his new condo. I told him to forget it - that wasn't going to happen. I told him a 31 year old man should be able to limit himself enough so that wouldn't be an issue. Then he got all huffy and said it was just an example, that he knew how to set boundaries for himself. Then he accused me of not being supportive and that maybe I wouldn't be the first person he would call and that didn't bode well for our R. It just screams manipulation on his part. I didn't really know how to respond, so I just said I didn't want to be with a drunkard. His audacity kills me. I've managed to distance myself enough to kind of observe our interactions like a third party - that when he's not making sense, it's b/c he's so confused and conflicted and hurt. My PC told me a while back that he is ill-equipped to deal with his emotions and that's why he's bouncing all over the place.

Ugh. Any words of support or advice would be appreciated.