I would agree w/Kat that you may have gone numb, and Wifey is correct to say that time is what will heal things as well as make things clearer for you.
I like your list you gave to H. I hope he'll follow through. I'm not surprised at his not knowing what to do b/c he's lost and scared. He has a ton of guilt and his confidence is very low.
Keep going. You are doing well and will continue to have the haze lift as you move forward.
Hmm...not sure any of us can say what your feelings are, except for you. Keep listening to your little voice and see what it thinks.
And I agree, don't have him move in until you want him to move in, and he is ready. I know it was hard for my kids to see their dad move in and then back out...
His move in should be way down the list. I'm not sure how many items were on the list you gave him, but if there were 20, for example, I'd make sure he'd done at least 15 if not more before he could come back.
He has to show commitment to change of himself and a commitment to you and your M first. Then he has to continue to follow up and be consistent w/his changes.
I agree. Ultimately it is now up to him to show whether or not he is serious about how you feel. Only time will tell whether the damage can be repaired.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I am worried he shows no interest in pursuing me sexually. I know the doc said no sex but I would think that when you want your woman, trying to seduce her and show her love, you could bend the rule a bit. It wouldn't kill him to at least try, you know? o, I am not sure why he is numb but I dont like the feeling it gives me.
As far as my feelings: practicing love is the decision I am making to the max. Honestly I think he is the wrong person at the right place... Today he came to the airport, he left, going to Ukraine. He was nervous about the trip and still managed to go pick up the kids before he left and wanted to buy a perfume for him that I like, inroduced me to nearly everybody that was flying with him and kissed me when he got in the gate.
I want this game to pass and then hopefully things will start showing where they are heading... K
There are so many ways for a man and a woman to be intimate (or should I say husband and wife). We all joke about (and read about) the funny cliches about men and sex. Most men 'are in'.
Proceed with caution.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Today he came to the airport, he left, going to Ukraine. He was nervous about the trip and still managed to go pick up the kids before he left and wanted to buy a perfume for him that I like, inroduced me to nearly everybody that was flying with him and kissed me when he got in the gate.