No contact is to the point. Carrot and stick. You have given a way back. You have given a way forward. She has a choice.
Remove I have made many changes over the past few months and I'm determined to continue my growth into the best Father and man that I can be.
Now exposure. To the family and personal friends. What are you going to say? If you get along with the outlaws, do this face to face. Sometimes showing pain says more than words. Remember you are showing them you want to work on your failed marriage or move on.
Friends. Friends have to be really close. They also need to know that you do not want to have them in the middle. That you are asking them to help you through this difficult time. Set some boundaries here. If you know they are supporting the affair then are they really your friend?
You need to know that most friends will avoid this. But some will open up to you about their relationship issues. Make sure you always end these on a positive note.
Then you go mum on the whole issue. Only answer questions when asked. And always be positive in your expressions.
I would do all this on the same day. Get it over with.
She will come at you that night. She will call you over and over , text you and email you. She will push to see if you can be broken. She will be confused by your work that day. Since you have shown everyone love for your wife and to her you show detachment, carrot and stick. Then she is going to get nasty. Real nasty. And she is going to be very vile to close friends. What you need to do is keep with the " When you love someone as much as WAS you let them go experience their mistakes. That you had a choice of anger and bitterness or healing and you picked healing. That you hope one day your wife will heal as well. And that since you can no longer be there for them that you would hope your friend would off support. " Along those lines. You will be saying this a ton of times to friends when they ask away over the next few weeks. And always change the topic back to their lives and stuff going on in their world. It is a subtle action that people will pick up. You are not being selfish. You are caring. You are strong and have taken a strong moral stand. You realize that life is not just about you. This will be noticed. And it will be opposite of WAS's communicaitons with people. She will be all about her choices in life, how horrible you have been, how she is entitled to her 'true love in life' .... IT will be all her , her , her. This is a very effective weapon for you to wield. But use it wisely.
