Help... I need to stop reacting!

[Serenity13]

((((Rocked))))

Thank you for your kind words on my thread. I see in our timelines, that we are not to far off. My bomb was in May as well as the dreaded ILYBINILWY - The EA started in Feb.

I have needed to take time off work to cope

I took 1 week off of work when it started, then proceeded to quit my job...I just needed some changes all the way around, I am now back at my old job and settling into a routine. If you haven't taken the time to cope, do so - You need to do this.

I need to set small goals for myself to get through the day

Here I started with just getting out of bed. I will admit in the beginning, it was so hard and I was at times suicidal even with ADs'...

The day he walked out, I fell apart - I was absolutely devastated and that was the closest I came to allowing him to break me to the point that I would never have recovered.

I posted what had happened here and then went offline to make some decisions...

When I came back online, I was ready to be done with it all and I give my thanks always to Puppy for talking me out of a very black hole...

He stayed here with me, talked me down, was a friend when I needed someone - More then I had ever needed anyone.

If you go back to my original thread, you would see that Puppy and I butted heads in the beginning. He was well ahead of me in the game, gave advice I wouldn't follow, gave 2x4's that I ignored, was not so nice at times however he never left my thread...

He has seen me broken completely, at a place where I didn't want to face another day and once I reached that stage, it was him who came by with his light and helped me back to my feet...

Because of him and quite a few others, is the reason I still believe that no matter what, each and every person is in your life for a reason.

He could have walked on, to someone else who would listen to his well meaning advice but he didn't - He still checked on me every day and I thank God for that every night when I hit my knees...

In order to be where I am today, I had to go through all of that mess however what I have learned is so much sweeter then I could have imagined.

I have learned that strength, patience, inner peace and happiness all come from me and nobody else.

I have learned that I only have control over myself.

I have learned to put my faith in God and God alone.

I have learned that even if you don't ever meet in person, you can have friends that mean the world to you.

I have learned that we are all chosen for this journey for a reason and while it may be hard at times, give Thanks for it and the reward in the end (no matter what it may be) will be worth it.

I have also learned my posts are long and my reponses are longer lol.

((((Hugs))))