Kevin, so what if he wanted to go to dinner with her? I find it stunning that you have not stood up for yourself and told your family if they choose to spend time with your W then ANY discussion about the marriage is off limits. And if they don't follow what you have requested and try and tell you about any conversation they had w/your W you should be saying "I think I made myself pretty clear that I do not want anybody involved in this situation and I have no desire to hear about any conversation that was had".
Who cares what his view is about being the best man at your wedding and him feeling its "his job" to try and pull the M back together. That sounds stone cold crazy and quite frankly rather manipulating IMO.
If he feels so strongly about that being "his job" then he should have called up your W prior to dinner and said "W, as the best man at your wedding I feel its my job to try and pull the marriage of you and Kevin back together". You think she still would have gone?
You make excuses for this crazy behavior. Why are you so afraid to set boundaries with all the people in your life? Can you help us understand?
Your BIL can have any view he likes but it gives him NO RIGHT to impose it on you, your W or YOUR marriage. That is the biggest bit of BS I have heard in a while and trust me when I say I have heard tons from my H as of late.
