Stuff is stuff. The woman who can't change a light bulb is using tools? That's forward momentum. You know the argument wasn't about the tools, it's about the hurt, anger, being taken advantage of etc. etc. of this rendering process. I spent a lot of time cutting my losses. And in the end. Stuff is stuff.
What your divorcing spouse does in her own time is none of your business. And after decades together it's a hard habit to stop. Learn to.
Oddly enough your divorcing spouse does talk to you about her intimate encounters and gets way too much information on your personal relationships. The only way to stop that is to make those topics off limits.
I empathize with the mourning of this loss. Words cannot convey what I feel. The only good thing is that the more you process, the less crap you carry.
Honestly.. I have no clue about what it takes to 'save a marriage', 'stop a divorce'. At some point you become an independent person, making decisions for your family alone.
Try jettisoning the anger. I noticed the change in the subject title. How about a little something in your signature?
